Emotional insecurity sounds like a complex problem defined in a psychology book. But, only the name sounds complex. It is a common happening, and appears all around… Wonder what it is?
It is what drives colleagues to take over team work, allowing no space for others to contribute. It also appears at workplace when one person talks through the length of a 1 hour meeting, making others wonder why they were invited to this meeting.
It occurs when a visiting guest gives you a lengthy advice on how to cook well, and in the process also boasts about the superb dishes that she has specialized in. The conversation is also peppered with sprinkles of specific mistakes you should correct in your cooking.
On a more serious side, this insecurity inspires a silent war in households, on who has more control over the family. Control might mean anything… from from deciding what to cook, whom to invite for a dinner… and who should marry whom.
A person can live in peace when people around him respect his personal space and mind their own business. On the contrary, when another person suddenly decides that I am not capable of leading my life and his / her guidance is essential, it disturbs my peaceful existence.
So what drives someone to lovingly or forcefully make me do what they want? Reasons behind it are many … personal motives, dominance, jealousy, ignorance, stupidity etc… But the inspiration behind all these reasons is… insecurity!
Insecurity at office crops up when a co-worker fears that his talent would go unnoticed, or that another person might become his superior, etc. Insecurity constantly plagues families, especially joint families. Insecurity that a daughter-in-law’s inexperience would ruin the family, insecurity that a mother-in-law’s dominance would destroy his / her freedom, insecurity that a neighbour might cook better than mine, insecurity that my younger cousins would end up earning more money than me, etc.
When insecurity is mixed with pride, jealousy, selfishness etc.. it leads to more toxic behaviors like hatred and spite.
Humor is a gift that Nature bestowed only on humans. Similarly, insecurity is also unique to humans. Animals and birds are not capable of experiencing insecurity.
As I start understanding more about insecurity, it is evident that there are many insecurities within me… Where is the time to worry about why others trouble me, when all my time is spent in tacking and suppressing my own insecurities?
My only hope is that I will one day be confident of myself, and free of insecurities. From that day, I will not anything disrupt my peace of mind.